Hi Reader,
Last week, I mentioned an old friend who has risen to the very top of his field — by being good at what he does and by being a good person.
This week, my dad told me about an old friend of his, a brilliant naval commander. I asked what made him such a great leader. My dad didn’t hesitate:
“He knew his stuff — and he was a really lovely man.”
What a combination. And a gift to international diplomacy.
I find these examples inspiring. Performance and personality can go hand in hand, bringing great benefits and leaving lasting impressions.
It’s a world away from the corporate 1990s I started out in, where the story of leadership went more like this:
- Appear calm and in control (while feeling terrified)
- Pretend to be nice (while competing to win)
- Work too hard
- Secretly resent it all (but don’t tell anyone)
- “Succeed” from a place of fear
- When it all gets too much, numb it with meds or substances
There’s a much better story now, one that feels more human, more sustainable, and far more powerful.
This story says you succeed by being a good person. By being highly skilled and capable in the areas that really matter: thoughtfulness, emotional intelligence, kindness, and deep listening. By leading a healthy lifestyle and paying attention to others. By being pragmatic, sensitive, open, decisive, insightful, calm, and above all, present.
Not rocket science, you might think. No - much more advanced. These qualities are the most natural things in the world, but they require practice, conscious awareness, and daily choice.
And it doesn’t stop at work. The leaders we need now are those who live these principles beyond the office: caring for their health and communities, cultivating happy relationships, and bringing that energy back into their work.
The old story said success required unhealthy sacrifice.
The new story shows that success, kindness, and wellbeing amplify each other.
And the shift is happening. Not everywhere, and not always in the highest-profile places, but we are seeing more and more people with strong values, positive choices, and the ability to lift others as they rise.
It’s inspiring me in my own leadership choices.
Which story are you living?
And how are you magnifying these values in your own life?
I’d love to hear your story.
Best wishes,
Adam
